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16 August 2006

Public Apology...

cant sleep last nyte.. my eyes were closed but my mind is still working overtime...
n as usual, my mind start to wander off, all the things i did for past years... n i felt dat maybe i did do some wrongs which i may not be able to see at that point of time... so here goes, i try to keep my list short and simple...

My parents :
Sorry if often u feel as if ur presence is not wanted.. sorry if im not home always, sorry dat i m the one, only one who makes u wrk harder each day becos of my demands to study further..

My sisters :
Sorry if often i take you for granted, sorry if i ever offend you wif my crappy nonsense, sorry if at times i snap at u jus becos im at my worst mood n it has nuthin to do wif u...

My kuzzins :
Sorry if often i sound sarcastic or offensive, i didnt mean to... but sumtimes i didnt noe how to get the msg across, being the eldest among us is not easy.. would like you all to learn abt life thru experiences and when it went bad, im there at the end of it to tell u if u realy deserve it... i may scold n scold n sound like a nag, but at the end of it, i m glad when u r ok, n things r normal.. i may make mistake too, point it out, dun just keep it in u... after all we r kuzzins...

Ex-Fiance :
Sorry if u hate me to the core now.. sorry dat things dun wrk out.. i noe no matter how i say its not bcos of a 3rd party, u always think it is.. i've learnt to jus let it be then.. sorry i wasted part of ur life, sorry if i leave a black mark in ur life... life moves on, im still here.. n i totally understand if u jus cant seem to see me eye to eye now...

Ex-Fiance Family :
Sorry if things happen so suddenly, sorry if u feel like u r being used... how i wish i can see u for the last time and apologize face to face... i realy miss the times when i spend at ur home, nvr feel that kinda bondness wif my own family, so u r my second family... sorry if u hv to face frens n relatives wif all the looks that they gave bcos of me...

Poly mates :
Sorry if i have not been meeting up wif u all... sorry if i break the bond between us... sriusly i dun really noe how it start n how it end... but i always look thru ur frenster profiles and see the updates on ur life, n i am happy for each one of u... hopefully one day, we will get together n be like past times...

Chatterz :
Sorry if i look like the gal who commands a lot.. i cant help having my teacher instinct sumtimes... sorry if i find it difficult to hangout anymore... sorry if i ever hurt anyone's feelings whether in person or online... u all are missed by me...

Norilia :
Sorry if i didnt get to see ur 2nd baby... i promise i will one day... sorry if i m not there for u... u will always b my close n best fren since poly... i m realy happy dat now u achieved wat u hv always dream abt, a happy family.. i've yet to have mine :)

Azrie :
Sorry if i can only treat u as a fren... spending time wif u makes me realised we gel better when we r frens.. i understand ur frustrations n how u can nvr understand when i point out dat i jus wanna stay frens... sorry again if i burst all ur hopes of being wif me... but i guess its better that way than breaking ur heart at a later part...

Ibrahim :
Sorry for the short time we spend together... sorry if i led u to thinkin we can b together... sorry if i ever take anything for granted from u... sriusly i think u r a nice guy, a very nice guy.. mayb our opinions of lifes differs and the way we see things are really from a diff angle...

Rizal :
Sorry if i ever am a burden to you for the long years we had... sorry if at times i dun understand the way u mix wif ppl, the way u grew up n how u turn out to be... sorry if i ever make u worry when my stubbornness comes alive... we both noe how things r goin down, n i guess we take the right step to jus be away from each other... see now, we r better off i guess.. we've known each other too much for comfort.. but trust me, u r the bestest confidante i ever had...

Suhaimi :
Sorry if i dun understand ur wrking habits.. sorry if i sounds cruel when i point it out to u... sorry if i cant fulfil ur hopes of settling down... sorry if even before we try a 2nd time, i hv known how it will be... sorry if i m not understanding enuff abt how u react to a certain issues...

Sahrin :
Sorry if sumtimes i seems bz to hv a chat or even msg u... sorry if sumtimes what i say makes u angry... sorry that thru these yrs, i can only see u as fren... sorry dat i may look like im hiding sumthing, its jus dat certain things is better off unsaid...

Well, so much for simplicity... i noe theres a lot others who pass through my life.. who come n go... to those unmentioned here, i m sincerely sorry for wateva unhappy things dat i may hv caused you... even then, thank you so much for creating an impact in my life.. i've learnt a lot thru all these yrs...

~ peace : love : empathy ~