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12 February 2007

Excited And Dreading This Date...

sumtimes i dunno if i wanna look forward or dread the day i got my pay...
when the day is stil so far, i cant wait for it to come.. i will do a countdown, first by week, then by day... then few days before it come, i will start to calculate expenses need to be settled... car loan, bills, gave parents n bla bla bla... n when i see how much i'm left wif, it brings me down, reali down...

so when the day finally come, like today, u will see me in front of watever self-automated machines, u name it, SAM, AXS, ATM.... n by the time evrything is settled, i will draw out cash for parents... n wateva's left, i will survive wif dat n the countdown begins till nxt payday.... again...

it became a routine... n everytime i kept reminding myself, its gonna b better, it will be better... but face the truth dear miss fairytale... reality is its stil gonna be the same unless MORE PAY, MORE BONUS, OVERTIME PAY or STRIKE LOTTERY...

u may ask, y dun u take up tuition then, jus like wat i did abt 2 yrs back... well, i tried n its hard... by the time i wanna teach tuition, im already mentally tired to focus... perhaps, mayb i need another parttime job dat doesnt reali require much thinking.. its reali draining me out...

wouldnt it be nice if the money plant outside my house reali grow real money... hhmmmmmm...

~ peace : love : empathy ~